Posted 11/21/08

As we move toward Thanksgiving, a time when many families gather, this is a request for advice about grandparenting. Last week our first grandchild arrived. She checked in at eight pounds, 13 ounces. Zoey Josephine – already nicknamed “Zo-Jo” is doing well, as is her mother (our oldest daughter). They live 10 minutes away so I’ll be able to see her often. I’d love to get readers’ thoughts about “do’s and don’ts” for grandparents.

I’m hoping to hear from people of all ages – from grandchildren, as well as parents and grandparents. My plan is to share some of the most insightful (and entertaining) ideas people share. Here are a few things people already have told me:

• “We have two grandkids and have found that grandparenthood is one of the few things in life that is NOT overrated!”
• “You’ll love it because you can play with them as long as you want, and then send them home.”
• “Don’t give advice unless it’s requested – just give love.”
• Be sure to get a few pictures to show – but DON’T go on and on – grandparents praising their grandchildren can get very boring!
• “Be nice but DON’T over-rule the parents.”  

Then there are a few stories people have shared.  Among the best:

• As a son walked down the hospital hall shortly after his first child (a daughter) was born. Throwing his arm around his father, he expressed great joy at the birth. Then he stopped, looked at his Dad and asked, “Do you supposed, 15 years from now, she’ll be in the back seat of some guy’s car, smoking, drinking or doing who knows what, and saying, ‘My father is such a jerk!”?

• An eight-year-old spent the weekend with his grandmother. When she asked him what he wanted for breakfast, he said “Ice cream.” The grandmother asked about eggs or cereal, but he insisted that he wanted ice cream. So she gave him ice cream. The same thing happened the following day.

Then he returned home, and sat down for breakfast. His mother asked what kind of cereal he wanted. When he asked for ice cream, his mother said “No way.” Told that the grandmother had served ice cream for breakfast, the mom explained, “Being with your grandmother is not reality.” The youngster replied, “I don’t like reality!”

One friend/grandparent told me how the reality of HER life had been changed by her grandson. She wrote: “this child be a priority in your life because time spent with her will bring you unimaginable joy…I was surprised by the overwhelming sense of love I immediately felt for this new little person in our lives. Apparently, hearts have the ability to expand quickly.”